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How Pure is Your Model?

Will Price today touches on one of the toughest challenges any software company faces which is how loyal you stay to your delivery model. At Comcate we deliver (almost) exclusively software-as-service, but as Will mentions, we have occasionally committed "unnatural acts" to close a deal. Similarly, when a client requests custom development, we try to estimate the general applicability of the development (ie whether we could upsell the new functionality to other clients). If the general applicability is low or not on our product roadmap, we try to avoid taking on "bad revenue" business. Will concludes that "good revenue which reinforces efficiencies and scalability trumps absolutely higher revenue" and that "purity is a virtue worth aspiring to." Easier said than done... As Comcate has matured we have earned the luxury of distinguishing good and bad revenue!

The Emergence of Boutique American Cities

Democracy: A Journal of Ideas has a great article (reg required) on the changing role of cities in America. Joel Kotkin argues America now consists of "boutique" cities -- Boston, San Francisco, and New York City -- which house educated, elite, and wealthy residents at the exclusion of most everyone else. In boutique cities the debate is over where to put the next sushi bar, or if one neighborhood has too many coffee shops, or how condos should be regulated...not how to solve the affordable housing problem.

Spatially, the boutique city can be found in certain locations–Manhattan, Chicago’s "Gold Coast," much of San Francisco, Seattle, and West Los Angeles–but it can best be viewed as an interconnected archipelago of interrelated elite communities. Its fundamental economic power lies not so much in the efficiency of place but in harnessing the influence of the media and financial elites. It depends also on the energies of a steady stream of young, educated workers and legions of poorly paid, often immigrant, service workers.

Boutique cities comprise of the elite and the poor who take care of the kitchens. It's hard to be a middle class person in San Francisco, one reason why San Francisco's population is now shrinking and why there are more dogs than kids here. Of course some see this as a good thing -- high culture reigns, artists flourish, geeks create million-dollar companies, and every other person you meet has a college degree (SF is the second "smartest" big city).

What boutique cities leave behind, however, is the "incubation of social mobility" that metropolises historically have provided. Houston, Charlotte, Orlando, Phoenix, Cleveland, Cincinnati, Baltimore, Detroit, St. Louis: all these cities are now better "aspirational cities" for middle class people. The problem is they're all trying (and failing) to become boutique cities by introducing slick cultural ammenities.

Kotkin concludes by asking what the role of cities should be in the 21st century. Are cities as relevant now that an entrepreneur in Bloomington is just as connected to the global economy via the Internet as an entrepreneur in San Jose? Are some cities better served as city-states (Shanghai, London, New York)? Will cities ever return to their roots of being home to a socioeconomically diverse citizenry or will a bifurcation of boutique and aspirational cities continue?

All good questions. But for the moment I gotta get back to fighting for a third sushi bar and fourth coffee shop in my little San Franciso neighborhood!

My College Admissions Decision: Claremont McKenna College

Maroonshadowlogo

In fall '07 I will start at Claremont McKenna College!

What is Claremont McKenna College?
CMC is a small, liberal arts college in Southern California. Statistically, it is one of the most selective colleges in the country and, with Pomona College, represents the west coast in the top tier of liberal arts colleges. But the beauty of CMC is its qualitative characteristics.

Unlike many elite liberal arts colleges which all blend together, CMC is distinctive. It has carved out a niche in higher education and, frankly, dominates it. Claremont is all about leadership, government, business, and public policy. The College embraces "life entrepreneurship" more than any other school I visited.

Why Did I Choose Claremont?

First, I believe in the liberal arts college model. Second, the College's mission fits my life mission perfectly. Third, I love California. Fourth, my Dad had a great experience at CMC. Finally, I had a good visit -- the students I stayed with were impressive. My host was an undergraduate doing deep research on the WTO and Taiwan (he chose CMC over UC Berkeley for its economics program), his good friend was involved in political life (he chose CMC over Georgetown for its personalized approach within the famous government department). Also during my visit, the professor of a class I audited asked me if I wanted to have lunch afterwards. She cared.

The Consortia -- Claremont McKenna is literally across the street from Pomona College, Pitzer College, Scripps College, Harvey Mudd College, Claremont Graduate University, and a variety of research institutes. All the colleges share resources which means students can take classes at any of the colleges. This means CMC, for example, can have a government department of 40 professors -- an insane number given the 2,000 students at the school -- and not offer any arts or engineering. Students who want art and engineering take their classes at Pomona or Harvey Mudd (arguably the best liberal arts college in the country for engineering students). Moreover, while you receive the personal attention of a liberal arts education, you are in a town with over 6,000 students, faculty and staff of 3,300, and 2,500 total courses. The Claremont Colleges is perhaps the only place in the country where you can get the best of both worlds in such close proximity -- personal attention on the one hand, and the resources and feeling of a university on the other.

Curricular Focus -- Among the top 10 liberal arts colleges there is little to distinguish a college like Swarthmore from Amherst, or Carlton from Pomona. CMC has taken a different approach. They have branded themselves as a school devoted to educating leaders. The Kravis Leadership Institute, the Drucker School of Business, and a variety of other programs on campus promote a theme of leadership, business, exploration, and impact.

Peter Drucker -- Perhaps the greatest management thinker of our time, Peter Drucker taught at Claremont for the last 40 years of his life. Hence the Drucker School of Business; not a terribly prestigious business school, but an energetic one, with expert faculty, research output, and high level business courses.

The Government Department -- After Harry Jaffa, a protege of Leo Strauss at the University of Chicago, went to Claremont and founded his "Sousa" school of Straussianism, the Claremont government department has attained national profile. As the chair of the dept wrote to me, "CMC's government department is the largest and wisest of any liberal arts college in the country." One Government major actually dropped out of CMC a couple years ago to be George W. Bush's personal secretary (he's now going to be the first HBS student who doesn't have an undergrad degree).

Faculty -- You probably haven't heard of many of Claremont's professors. After all, they focus on teaching undergraduates, not appearing on CNN. This is fine by me -- I want a professor who I can have dinner with! That said, there are a couple people on-campus who fire me up by name alone. David Foster Wallace, one of the best American writers in his generation, teaches at Pomona. Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi, author of Flow: The Psychology of the Optimal Experience, one of my all time favorite books and a landmark in positive psychology, teaches at Claremont Graduate University. A friend from my high school is a freshman at CMC and his government professor is Charles Kesler, the famous head of the Claremont Institute and editor of the Claremont Review of Books, a conservative counterweight to the New York Review of Books. His economics professor served in an advisory capacity to the current Bush administration. (The faculty and student political split is 50/50 liberal and conservative.)

Athenaeum -- CMC hosts guest speakers for lunch and dinner four days a week, every single week of the academic year. Definitely the most guest speakers in an organized fashion than any other liberal arts college, and probably most large universities too. Top speakers -- Janet Reno, George Will, etc -- are invited for dinner inside the Athenaeum dining room. You must make reservations, wear nice clothes, and not only listen to the speaker but discuss the relevant issue at your table. This is one of CMC's shining points and given my propensity to meet new people and discuss all sorts of issues, it suits me perfectly.

Los Angeles -- Even as a San Franciscan I can admit that Los Angeles is a tremendous city. My company Comcate works with many cities in LA County, including a big contract with the City of Pomona, CA. Claremont is an hour east of LA.

    • Weather -- Incredible weather. BBQs and sandals. I'm told Claremont is sheltered a bit from the smog.
    • Platform -- Great city for me to operate on. Tons of interesting people and companies.
    • VC/Entrepreneurship -- Southern California may soon eclipse Boston as the #2 most active VC region in the country, behind Silicon Valley
    • Brains -- UCLA, USC, Occidental, California Institute of Technology, and the Claremont Colleges all make Los Angeles full of bright students.
    • In-N-Out Burger -- SoCal is home to the original In-N-Out Burger location, and there are two in the City of Pomona alone.

Networking -- Because so many CMC grads go into business or the professions, the network of CMC alumni is incredible for a small college. I'm not even at the college yet and I've already tapped into it.  Every day I find someone new who's a CMC alum -- Patrick Lencioni, author of the popular business fable books, or Jonathan Rosenberg, one of the top Google executives.

Henry Kravis - Kravis is one of the most successful investment banker in U.S. history, with a legacy that will stand alongside J.P. Morgan as one of the titans in American finance, says Achievement.org. Kravis, a CMC alumnus, is perhaps Claremont's most notable patron. I hope to develop a relationship with him while I'm there.

If you don't know much about Claremont, don't worry, that will change over the next five years!

Book Review: The Starfish and the Spider

The Starfish and the Spider: The Unstoppable Power of Leaderless Organizations by Ori Brafman and Rod Beckstrom has the potential to be the hot business book of the fall.

Full disclosure, I had a great lunch with co-author Ori a few weeks ago and I'm a fan. He sent me an advance copy of the book. It hits bookstores October 5th.

The premise of the book is straightforward: Cut the head off a spider and it dies. Cut off a Starfish's leg and it grows a new one. Decentralized organizations -- Skype, Wikipedia, Cragslist -- can endure because they rely on the power of peer relationships.

This thesis won't strike anyone who's been swimming in the peer to peer production / blogging / user generated content world as incredibly profound, but Ori and Rod have done a great job at organizing examples, contrasting rigid hierarchal organizations with decentralized ones, and offering ten concluding rules to remember in a "starfish world." They have provided a good framework for talking about these topics.

The absence of value judgments / interpretation is the only part that left me wanting. There are times when I wanted Ori and Rod to express an opinion about the goodness of the starfish model. They start to walk in this direction when discussing file sharing and the music industry, but in the end back away and say maybe labels should focus just on auxiliary revenue streams such as concerts. They also don't discuss the other side to the Wikipedia revolution, or what Jaron Lanier calls "Digital Maoism: The Hazards of New Online Collectivism."

But those kinds of discussions probably extend beyond the purview of this book. Starfish and the Spider is focused, engagingly written, and makes important points about what kinds of movements will survive in the 21st century. I recommend it. Congrats Ori!

Tyler Cowen on My College Process

One of my intellectual heroes, Tyler Cowen, a professor and "Economic Scene" columnist in the New York Times, has some kind words and observations on my college admissions experiences on his must-read blog. Thanks, Tyler.

Tyler's breadth of interests makes him one of the most provocative public intellectuals. Here's my review of his book Creative Destruction, here's a long debate I hosted on independent book stores based on one of Tyler's articles, here are my notes from Tyler's talk in Zurich this past summer.

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College Admissions Decision: Part V: Decision Time

See Parts I , II , III ,and IV in my series revealing where I'll be going to college.

In the time between January 1 and April 1, when you hear back from schools, I reflected on what I'd want out of four years of college. Some things that came to mind included: a) study topics I can't study anywhere else, b) form close relationships with brilliant teachers, c) form close relationships with students who can be friends for life, and maybe business partners, and d) increase my exposure to randomness.

On April 1st I got a handful of thick envelopes, and some thin ones too. The responses were all over the map, as predicted. Neither my counselor nor I knew what to expect, given my unique file. It all depended on how much the school appreciated what I did with my time the first two years of high school.

I was thrilled to receive acceptances at colleges which excited me, and in mid April took a trip to visit three schools: one in east Chicago, upstate New York, and east Los Angeles county. After returning from my three visits, I returned to San Francisco with a smile.

When I told my Jon, my counselor, where I'd decided to go, he answered with a grin, "Listen Ben, I don't tell anyone this, but I'm going to tell you. Usually I say there's no such thing as a perfect fit, but in this case I'm wrong. This is a perfect fit for you."

All around me my friends were hearing good news and bad news. Some people got screwed, some people got lucky, some people got what they deserved. Some people treated it as a pivotal turning point in their life; others, like me, treated it as another meaningful event nestled in a mosaic of cool, interesting twists and turns.

Since I had decided to attend a college that intrigued me, I now had to decide about deferral. The notion of Real Life University always intrigued me – especially the travel component – so I decided to defer my admission for one year so I could travel, work, and publish my book.

Tomorrow: Where I'm going and why

Quote of the Day

"War is God’s way of teaching Americans geography." -Ambrose Bierce

College Admissions Decision Part IV: Visiting Colleges and Writing My Application

See Parts I and II and III in my series revealing where I'll be going to college.

I tried to improve my grades. The fall of my senior year I earned a 3.97 GPA, bumping my cumulative GPA to a 2.99.

Heartened by my improvement, I visited a range of colleges. I visited liberal arts colleges. These kinds of schools are the gem of United States higher ed. Private liberal arts colleges only serve undergraduates, are committed to a broad base of learning, and boast a high student to faculty ratio. My whole family has been educated in liberal arts colleges (Smith, Claremont, Amherst, and Middlebury) and all had tremendous experiences. I also visited large research universities. In a large university there are more resources, more people, more organizations, and more happening, but less face time with professors, a less personal atmosphere, and sometimes overwhelming living situations.

I did not look at undergraduate business programs. I have many real world business experiences and, besides accounting, classroom work wouldn't enrich it much I think.

I did consider the overall entrepreneurial culture of a college campus. I want to be around kids who dream big and aren't ashamed of to say it. I considered how passionately students took to the "life of the mind". I talked to professors, studied their programs, and pondered their probable availability for one-on-one dinners and their ability to awaken a classroom. I considered the location and weather of the college. Having lived in San Francisco my whole life, I haven't seen snow for more than a few days at a time. I like moderate-to-warm weather. Finally, I considered the college's alumni network – its vibrancy and distribution of careers.

In my application I had 500 words to tell the college about myself. My personal "character" is where I had to shine, given my poor grades. I wrote an essay about "life entrepreneurship," using a Joan Didion quote as a jumping off point. I had immense difficulty crafting an essay that would communicate my four crazy years of high school / Silicon Valley. My (private) attitude was, "Some college admissions people will get it, some won't, and that's how it goes."

Some schools, especially small colleges, still do personal interviews. At every school but one where I interviewed, I got in. Given my experience a) interviewing candidates at my own company, b) interacting with adults, c) communicating a sales pitch, I always kicked butt in my interviews.

Throughout all this I talked to adult friends and school peers. I learned early on that books and articles about higher education were fairly useful while the random anecdote by an bachelor-toting adult was usually not. This, of course, is the fascinating influence: everyone who's gone to college (about 27% of America) seems to have an opinion about colleges and admissions. The problem is the world's changed. Also, as time passes, cognitive dissonance does wonders. College grads think about those four, long, incredibly expensive years in a way that's kind on the brain. Sometimes they repeat nice-sounding catch phrases like, "College is all about learning how to think" or "It's not about the college you go to, it's about what you get out of it." (There's some truth in both.) But – but! – all this being said, several adult friends really illuminated this time in my life with characteristic wit, hindsight, and humor, and I appreciate that.

On January 1st I submitted my applications online to a dozen schools and hoped for the best!

College Admissions Decision Part III: Assessing My File

See Parts I and II in my series revealing where I'll be going to college.

Amidst the onslaught of documents is a particularly important one: your transcript to-date. For students at UHS, my high school, this can always been a damning moment. UHS is a hard school. Most of the courses are upper level college classes. The students are bright and hard-working. Formerly stand-out students become simply average after enrolling at UHS.

My college counselor, Jon, showed me my cumulative GPA through my fall semester junior year: 2.67 out of 4.0. It wasn't pretty, even considering the usual bump up most colleges give to students from UHS in consideration of the academic rigor. My PSAT scores – a predicator of SAT results – were good not great.

Jon and I spoke about the process and my prospects. We talked about my entrepreneurship but more important, my intellectual interests and activities. Jon, a former professor and associate director of admissions at Stanford, was a smart and funny guy, and we had to work hard to stay focused on college stuff, given our propensity to meander off-topic. Finally, he cut to the chase:

"Ben, I want you to know something. A lot of schools like to talk about wanting kids who show intellectual drive, who are well-balanced, to have passion for the activities they pursue. Unfortunately, a lot of this is window dressing. I'm going to be blunt. Your numbers will hurt the averages of these schools and hurt their rankings. They really need to be convinced that you're special, and it's hard to articulate what you've done in such short space and to people not versed in business, blogging, whatever. What you've done the past few years seems mighty impressive, but much harder to boil down than fantastic artwork or an amazing piano recording. And your numbers, frankly put, show an inability to master academic work. So I want you to know that you're facing an uphill battle."

I responded: "I understand. I've made choices and they have consequences."

He smiled, relieved I wasn't going to be one of those students who would only apply to a handful of name-brand colleges, or who'd self-righteously assume his talents were delivered from heaven and self-evident.

Even though I was kind of disappointed my real world entrepreneurial experiences wouldn't have as much mileage in my college admissions as they could have, I still had a huge advantage over most applicants: I attended a private high school, I had the resources to apply and personally visit a dozen schools, and had college educated parents who would support me emotionally and financially.

•••

When I think about my academic struggles, I don't feel sorry for myself (ok - sometimes I do, when I'm forced to slave through multiple choice tests, which I undoubtedly bomb). Let's face it: I got my ass kicked. But. I'm still happy, and I'm still dreaming, and who knows...maybe I'll move a mountain someday.

See this old New Yorker article which I blogged:

"In 1981, two professors...began following the lives of eighty-one high-school valedictorians...According to Arnold’s 1995 book “Lives of Promise: What Becomes of High School Valedictorians,” these students continued to distinguish themselves academically in college; a little less than sixty per cent pursued graduate studies. By their early thirties, most were “working in high-level, prestigious, secure professions”—they were lawyers, accountants, professors, doctors, engineers. Arnold totted up fifteen Ph.D.s, six law degrees, three medical degrees, and twenty-two master’s degrees in her group. The valedictorians got divorced at a lower rate than did the population at large, were less likely to use alcohol and drugs, and tended to be active in their communities.

At the same time, Arnold, who stays in touch with her cohort, has found that few of the valedictorians seem destined for intellectual eminence or for creative work outside of familiar career paths. Dedicated to the well-rounded ideal—to be a valedictorian, after all, you must excel in classes that don’t interest you or are poorly taught—the valedictorians had “used their strong work ethic to pursue multiple academic and extracurricular interests. None was obsessed with a single talent area to which he or she subordinated school and social involvement.” This marks a difference, Arnold said, from what we know about many eminent achievers, who tend to evince an early passion for a particular field. For these people, Arnold writes, a “powerful early interest evolves into lifelong, intensive, even obsessive involvement in the talent area.” She goes on, “Exceptional adult achievers often recall formal schooling as a disliked distraction.” Valedictorians, by contrast, conformed to the expectations of school and carefully chose careers that were likely to be socially and financially secure: “As a rule, valedictorians relegated their early interests to hobbies, second majors, or regretted dead ends. The serious athletes among the valedictorians never pursued sports occupations. Most of the high school musicians hung up their instruments during college."

Chris Yeh goes on to say:

In other words, while valedictorians do well, most of those who are most successful in life were definitely not valedictorians. Let me emphasize one line from the quote above: Exceptional adult achievers often recall formal schooling as a disliked distraction.

School isn't like real life. In fact, it's about as far from real life as can be imagined. The lessons that let you be successful in school (follow the rules, work hard, know the right answers) are completely the opposite of those that help you become a successful entrepreneur (change the rules, work smart, know the right questions).

If You Ask Me What I've Come to Do in This World, I Will Reply: I'm Here to Live My Life Out Loud

Or so said Emile Zola, among many other fabulous quotes in this Tom Peters PowerPoint. Another gem:

"The object of life's journey is not to arrive at the grave safely in a well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, totally worn out, shouting, 'Holy Shit, What a Ride!!!’ —Mavis Leyrer

Conflict Here, Conflict There, Conflict Everywhere

Why do we find conflict so entertaining?

How is it that Jerry Springer could create a TV show that is premised on people arguing with each other?

Why is it that I'm so enamored with the Lee Siegel (New Republic) / Ezra Klein (American Prospect) battle? (Siegel: "There's this awful suck-up named Ezra Klein--his "writing" is sweaty with panting obsequious ambition...")

Or how about Tom Peters and Peter Drucker beef? (Peters: "I participated in a Drucker tribute a few weeks after his death...I was supposed to open with 5 minutes of laudatory remarks...I've seldom worked so hard on a thing—but in the end I couldn't pull it off")

Even in books, conflict makes the day, such as when Michael Wolff says to Jon Rubin in Burnrate:

No. Fuck you. No accommodation. No nothing. I'll bury this company. I'll bury you. I'll bury anything else you're trying to do in a firestorm of publicity and litigation. I want you out of my company. You're a lightweight and a snot nose. Get out of my company. The longer you stay, the more money and pain it will cost you.

•••

In his latest fable Death by Meeting, Patrick Lencioni declares conflict and drama as integral to effective meetings. I tend to agree -- fruitful discussion emerges from varying points of view. Conflict can be both entertaining and productive. Here's to the devil's advocate.

The problem is some people shy away from conflict. Some workplaces stifle it. In my view, if there's no conflict, what's being discussed is probably not very important.

College Admissions Decision: Part II: Does College Make Sense for Me?

Back when I was a young freshman in high school, spending 20 hours a week on my company, a few city managers to whom I was pitching my product asked whether I was going to college. I hadn't given it a second of thought. "Of course," I responded. Everyone in my immediate family had gone to college. My Mom's side of the family tree is full of academics.

Some thought this was a good idea ("There's so much to learn" or "The social life is amazing"). Some thought this was a bad idea ("It will hold you back, you need something better, and different")

I didn't ask myself this question until my junior year in high school. I had been successful in the "real world" with my entrepreneurship. I had developed a curiosity about why the world works as it does that demanded different skills than the traditional classroom. My grades in school were poor -- in part due to my intensive commitment to my company, in part because I wasn't good at scoring high on tests (both the testing and recall). The kind of intellectual exposure I encountered in the business world -- smart, high energy folks who challenged my ideas and provided new ways of thinking -- seemed absent in the classroom. Despite top notch teachers and impressive students, so many of my classes in high school couldn't engage me (or I couldn't engage them). I wasn't "above" the classes; our styles didn't mesh.

For a long time I was simply ambivalent about whether college was in my future. I remember a reporter asked me this question and I said, "Yes" and then a second later added, "If it makes sense with where I'm going."

Then I met marketing author Seth Godin in New York and discussed where I was in the college process. He posed an idea I call "Real Life University." Seth questioned whether four years in a place that teaches how to be normal filled with students who are looking for a degree helps me. He wondered aloud whether two years on the road traveling in different cultures, and two years reading books and meeting mentors, would be a better experience.

From that point forward my opinion on the matter became clear: I want to spend four years of my life learning. I don't want to graduate from high school and just start more businesses. After all, business is only kind of interesting. I want to learn. I want to explore.

"Real Life University" – four years of reading and exploration, guided by a "board of trustees" of advisors and mentors – became a real idea I refined and held in my back pocket.

I wanted to give myself options. I would pursue the traditional college admissions process and see what happens. If none of my college options suits my fancy, I thought to myself, I can always do Real Life U

College Admissions Decision: Part 1 of 6

An unmeritocracy at best, profoundly corrupt at worst, was how Malcolm Gladwell described the college admissions process in America nowadays in a New Yorker piece in the spring.

"Not so much palaces of learning as bastions of privilege and hypocrisy," said The Economist recently on U.S. higher ed.

With the insane mass media attention on the college admissions process, it was a little surreal for me to enter the fray in spring '05. Given my tendency to both participate in something and analyze it dispassionately at the same time, for the past two years I've been a saddened "victim" on the one hand and an amused commentator on the other.

Over the next week I will describe my experience.

Part 2: Does College Make Sense For Me?

Monday: "Thinking about Real-Life University"

Part 3: Visiting colleges, thinking about fit, and writing applications

Tuesday: "Telling the Ben story in 500 words"

Part 4: Thick and thin envelopes

Wednesday: "Visiting three colleges in April"

Part 5: The decision and deferral

Thursday: "Ben, I always tell people there's no such thing as a perfect fit. This is an exception. This school is a perfect fit."

Part 6: A Major Announcement

Friday: Where I'll be spending four years of my life

What Should My Book Be Titled?

I am in the final writing stages of my book. It's about my entrepreneurship (founding Comcate). It's a business book, geared to young entrepreneurs and adult businesspeople. In addition to my story, it includes lessons, boxes, and guest excerpts -- also known as take aways -- which allow the reader to start realizing his or her own dreams by seeing the world through the prism of entrepreneurship. More on my book, soon.

The current working title is:

My Start-Up Life: What a (Very) Young CEO Learned on His Journey Through Silicon Valley

Do you have any better ideas or suggested modifications? Although I don't control the title, I do have some input, and I'd appreciate your feedback. Thanks.

If People Like You, They'll Follow You

"We will work harder and more effectively for people we like. And we will like them in direct proportion to how they make us feel." - From A Leader's Legacy by Jim Kouzes and Barry Posner

I've been thinking about likability a lot recently. It's huge. Being likable is not the same thing as being smart, extroverted, or funny.

The "liking principle" is part of Cialdini's principles of persuasion and for good reason. When people like you, it's easier to influence them.

I've thought about how I can become more likable at a tactical level. One theory I have is we don't like people who intimidate us. Because of my physical stature and occasional tendency to use academic (read: pretentious) prose, and because of my eclectic interests and activities, I'm sometimes said to be intimidating. To combat this I have recently begun to use more informal language in my everyday talk and have kept an "open posture" (open palms, feet pointed out, and shoulders slightly curved in). At the end of the day, I'm me -- deal with it! -- but I don't think it hurts to think about the components for successful leadership.

The thought that it's better to be feared than to be loved, I think, is bullshit.

How do you think about likability?

10 Ways to Hit on Girls in a Co-Ed Bathroom

My close friend Andy started as a freshman at Vassar College and has had some great posts on his blog. He just posted a hilarious Top 10 list for "How to hit on girls in co-ed bathrooms." Andy, how sophisticated you've become since entering the elite ranks of American higher ed, big man.

Money grafs:

10) Shave at least three times a day. Make sure that you are wearing minimal clothing while doing it. Remember to create serious tension on your pectoral muscles so that they look as defined as possible.

...

5) Sometimes, DON'T flush the toilet. Then, hang around the sinks, pretending to brush your teeth or even flossing if you feel like being really naughty. When the hot babe you wanna get with walks over and squeals audibly, that's when you make your move. Strut over to "see what the commotion was," express your outrage, and then be the champion stud that flushes the toilet for the fine doll. If you can somehow flex your biceps while doing this, that's mad respect and an obvious turn-on. If she still isn't feeling you up by this point, you can mention that you're going to "kick that fucker's ass real good," and show him, "how to treat a lady." You gotta be careful with this one, but when you pull it off, it's pretty pure.

..

4) Explain to her that there is a water shortage some South Asian country (it doesn't matter which one; feel free to be creative. Bonus points if it doesn't actually exist). Describe the conditions: infants dying of dehydration at a horribly innocent age, families not having enough water to wash their clothes, young children reaching for mugs that they think are full of water only to put it up to their lips and realize that there is nothing there. If you're particularly brave, act out each of these scenarios, and on the last one, make sure that you look tormented and confused upon realizing that your imaginary glass of water is empty. She should be crying by now if you have any semblance of skill. Swoop in, console, and admit that there is very little that "we" can do about it, but there is one simple way to save water that could one day be used in that country: sharing showers. Then grab your towel and suggestively look at the nearest shower. If you've made it this far, you're in.

David Brooks In-Person in San Francisco

Last night both George Soros and David Brooks were in San Francisco. I saw New York Times columnist David Brooks in conversation with Jane Wales, CEO of the World Affairs Council of Northern California.

I arrived at The Fairmont hotel, atop Nob Hill at the only place where each of the cable car lines meet, a bit early, so I read a book in the lobby. The person sitting next to me was an attractive, young 30's woman who got on her cell phone and started screeching in the way a teenage girl does about Britney. Only for her it was excitement to see Brooks. (A sign I should enter the dating market?)

I, too, tremored with excitement to see one of my favorite commentators in-person (he even has his own del.icio.us tag). Brooks' writing combines intelligence with humor. He calls himself a "comic sociologist". His book On Paradise Drive is hilarious.

The talk mostly focused on foreign policy and Iraq, but predictably Brooks sprinkled his remarks with many very funny lines. I was both surprised and not surprised that Brooks seemed pessimistic and discouraged by the world. Surprised because Brooks seems to be the resident optimist in a punditry that loves to bemoan. Not surprised because, well, with the Middle East right now it's hard not to feel down. Overall, as impressive in-person as in print.

The WAC -- of which I'm a member -- continues to impress. Future programs this month include Tom Campbell in conversation with Lou Dobbs, then Bob Woodward, and Joseph Stiglitz. Jane Wales is one of the most impressive people I've ever met and a real treat for San Francisco.

Scattered notes:

  • The enemy we're facing -- radical Islamists -- may have a way of looking at the world that can't be captured with our current vocabulary. It's not simple ideology, or religion, or politics. It's some mixture of that plus fantasy and identity. It's hard to agree on a diagnosis, let alone a solution, to a problem that's so hard to box.
  • Iraq fiasco has shown we may not be able to defeat this enemy militarily.
  • The Greeks knew that feeling like you're making a difference -- receiving recognition -- is at the heart of human desires. (And when you vote, in a democracy, you feel respected and dignified.)
  • The kind of bourgeois capitalism that's defining upper class America says that we can find contentment in petty pleasures.
  • Loss of confidence by Americans in every institution in American life the past few years.
  • How to give a speech if you're a pundit: name drop with crushing banality. "So I was talking to Dick the other day -- uh, yeah Dick Cheney -- and he confirmed that there are in fact three branches of government."
  • Not enough troops in Iraq, but can't raise the troop levels because of political cost to Bush. Bush would raise troops if generals asked, but they won't b/c they don't want to put him in that position.
  • Iraq is succumbing to the rules of nature. If California had no police or state troopers and the criminals were let out of jail, it would look similar.
  • We need to stay in Iraq. The best of bad options. If we left, the Iraqis who supported democracy in the first place would be the first to be killed.
  • Bush has increased domestic anti-poverty spending and foreign aid to Africa more than any of his predecessors.
  • Two strains of conservatism: Catholic social teaching tradition and the libertarian tradition. Bush subscribes to the former. This is the "compassionate" branch.
  • An important polling question to watch is, "Do you trust government to do the right thing most of the time?" Right now it's at a low.
  • Civility in congress is low. At a Democratic congresswoman's house in D.C. at a reception to talk about bipartisanship, a woman said, "I don't hate Bush, but I regard him like the guy who molested my daughter."
  • American people are "seldom wise, but often sensible."
  • No evidence in any reports that political pressures altered intelligence. Every foreign intelligence agency and Saddam's own generals thought he had nukes.

What Is the Knowledge Most Worth Knowing?

This is a great post on Gideon's Blog about what should comprise a broad liberal arts education. Every pundit has their list of "essential knowledge". I found this list thoughtful, as I'm someone who believes in the liberal arts as the underpinning to an active engagement with the world. Excerpts:

I. Origins of the Western Tradition.

An integrated humanities course with a Great Books focus. Students read Homer, Hesiod, the dramatists, Aristophanes, Thucydides and Herodotus, the pre-Socratic philosophers, Plato and Aristotle, the Hebrew Bible and some ancient Near-Eastern contextual material, Plutarch, Virgil, Horace, Ovid, Lucretius, Greek and Latin lyric poetry, secondary material on Greek, Hellenistic and Roman History, the Christian Scriptures, Augustine and other early Church material. I am very sorely tempted simply to stop there. That is easily enough material for two years; it is certainly enough material for two terms, and this is only part of the curriculum. I think it's important, moreover, to give a sense of this classical material as living, as still being accessible, and if we race on from here through Dante, Chaucer and Aquinas; Locke, Hobbes and Shakespeare; Goethe, Cervantes and Milton; and on and on through Nietzsche and Joyce and whatever else, then Plato and Euripides will only be cultural signposts, matter to be learned for tests, rather than living presences in students' lives...

II. English Poetry.

A very traditional course. Beowulf, Chaucer, the Pearl Poet, Spenser, Shakespeare, Jonson, Donne, Marvell, Milton, Pope, Blake, Wordsworth, Coleridge, Shelley, Keats, Browning, Whitman, Tennyson, Poe, Longfellow, Hopkins, Yeats, Kipling, Eliot, Frost, Stevens, Larkin, Bishop. I've probably put in poets that some would consider dispensible and left out others that some would consider indispensible; forgive me, and consider this a sketch rather than a definitive list. This is covering a lot of ground, and so necessarily the epic poets are not going to get treated fairly. I'm not too upset about that, because if students learn how to read well, they can return to Spenser either in another course or even later in life; if they don't learn to read well, then they will not be able to....

III. Aspects of American Civilization.

Not a history course. It presumes a decent familiarity with American history; I imagine a strong basic American history text assigned as a reference and to help students who weren't paying attention in high school to keep up. This is, rather, an open-ended exploration of the nature of American Civilization with both a historical and a comparative method. So, for example, one key "aspect" of American Civilization that would be explored is the nature of American Constitutionalism. To that end, students would familiarize themselves with the British antecedents to the American system, read the Federalist Papers and some of the anti-Federalist arguments, read some key Supreme Court decisions, the Lincoln-Douglas Debates, and finally some of the best contemporary analyses of the American Constitutional tradition (examples: Democracy and Distrust, The People Themselves, The Bill of Rights: Creation and Reconstruction; pick your favorites). Other topics would include immigration and the origins of the American people (start with Albion's Seed and move on from there); the American foreign-policy tradition (I'm imagining working within Walter Russell Mead's framework); slavery, anti-slavery and the problem of race (David Brion Davis, Eugene Genovese, etc.); the American experience of religion; one can go on and on...

IV. Principles of Aesthetics.

Secondary schools around the country have been cutting back on art and music; meanwhile, the tribunes of high culture from the major art museums to schools of architecture are failing utterly to teach humanistic aesthetic principles; and popular culture is almost comically debased. We are surrounded by ugliness, to the point where most people do not even know how to think about the aesthetic. The course will spend a little time reading about theories of the aesthetic (Aristotle, Ruskin, Pater, Nietzsche) but will mostly approach the topic directly, by interacting with works of painting, sculpture, architecture, photography and music. A strong emphasis will be placed on solving aesthetic problems: how to achieve such and such effect in a way that works....

V. Probability and Statistics.

No branch of mathematics is more important to thinking intelligently about the world than statistics...

VI. Concepts in Economics.

Ignorance of economics is nearly comparable to ignorance of statistics. But people need to understand some economics for reasons ranging from their own personal prosperity (understanding the importance of savings and investment, and the function of different forms of debt like mortgages and credit cards, as well as intelligently capitalizing on one's own skills and talents) to participating intelligently in political life....

VII. Logic and Rhetoric.

...Formal logic as such is an esoteric discipline, but basic logical principles need to be drilled into students, as do different rhetorical strategies, and then they need to use these principles and strategies in real situations....

VIII. Problems in Philosophy.

...I titled the course, "Problems in Philosophy" because I think that's the best way to approach philosophy for true novices: present problems that philosophers have wrestled with. The emphasis is intended to be on "purer" areas of philosophy: how we can know something, how we can communicate meaningfully, etc., and to avoid aesthetic, moral and political questions that might be dealt with adequately in other classes in the core.

IX. Introduction to Human Biology.

A course in human biology would be valuable for many reasons. First, for reasons of health; people really should know about how their bodies work and how to keep them working. They should also understand their own development; both men and women should have a realistic understanding of fertility, of child development, and of aging, because they will be planning to start or delay starting families, raising children, and taking care of aging parents. Our increasing understanding of human biology also informs all kinds of moral and policy questions that students are engaged with....

X. Colloquium on Ethics, Morals and Values.

Unfortunately, this course will inevitably be a gut course, one you almost can't possibly fail. But I think it's appropriate for there to be a course in the core explicitly devoted to exploring questions of ethics, morals and values; questions of how one should live one's life and what is the good. Students will have learned a great deal about the Western Tradition's classical approaches to these problems in the Origins course; they will have learned something about what modern knowledge brings to bear on these questions from the Economics and Human Biology courses; they will have learned something about how to intelligently phrase and answer questions from Logic and Rhetoric. They should have the tools, in other words, to ask and try to answer what are, ultimately, the most important questions....

A Philosophy of Life Driven By Death

Professor Linus Yamane at Pitzer College posts his philosophy of life. I like it. I believe we have one shot at life, that we can seize only one day at a time, and tomorrow is no guarantee. My impending mortality looms...

A writer can have, ultimately, one of two styles: he can write in a manner that implies that death is inevitable, or he can write in a manner that implies that death is not inevitable. Every style ever employed by a writer has been influenced by one or another of these attitudes toward death.

If you write as if you believe that ultimately you and everyone else alive will be dead, there is a chance that you will write in a pretty earnest style. Otherwise you are apt to be either pompous or soft. On the other hand, in order not to be a fool, you must believe that as much as death is inevitable life is inevitable. That is, the earth is inevitable, and people and other living things on it are inevitable, but that no man can remain on the earth very long. You do not have to be melodramatically tragic about this. As a matter of fact, you can be as amusing as you like about it. It is really one of the basically humorous things, and it has all sorts of possibilities for laughter. If you will remember that living people are as good as dead, you will be able to perceive much that is very funny in their conduct that you perhaps might never have thought of perceiving if you did not believe that they were as good as dead.

The most solid advice, though, for a writer is this, I think: Try to learn to breathe deeply, really to taste food when you eat, and when you sleep, really to sleep. Try as much as possible to be wholly alive, with all your might, and when you laugh, laugh like hell, and when you get angry, get good and angry. Try to be alive. You will be dead soon enough.

William Saroyan, The Daring Young Man on the Flying Trapeze, 1934 (Preface to the First Edition).

Me in Boston Globe: Entrepreneurship Can Make the World a Better Place

I pop up in today's Boston Globe article titled, "So you think you may want to be an entrepreneur?"

9. Entrepreneurship is a way of thinking, and you can change the world. This idea comes from 18-year-old Ben Casnocha, who founded Comcate, a software company for governments, when he was 12. Yep, 12 years old. Casnocha says, "Entrepreneurship has a lot to do with business but it is a way of thinking about things that everyone can do: seeing individuals as empowered as agents of change; trying to figure out the status quo, the normal thing, and then thinking about what we can do differently. If more people thought like entrepreneurs the world could be a better place."

The author Penelope Trunk writes a good career advice blog.

My friends Ramit Sethi and Tom Kuegler (known as "TK" in the comments in this blog) are also quoted. Ramit gets his URL mentioned, so he's officially on my shit list.

The Latest from Washington D.C.

Some really upbeat news out of Washington, courtesy of the Atlantic Monthly (subs only):

Ken Calvert, a Republican representative from California, was caught in a car with a prostitute during his first term but, after putting out campaign literature implying that his Democratic opponent was gay, held on to his seat. Last year Calvert and a business partner bought a four-acre parcel of land in Riverside County for $550,000; after securing federal funds for the expansion of a nearby freeway interchange, along with federal money to support commercial development in the area, they sold the property for nearly $1 million. But Democrats say they are not running a serious challenger against Calvert, because the seat leans strongly Republican.

Ah. Don't you feel better now?

An Investment Bank Only Looking for Jocks

My brother told me the other day that an investment bank one of his friends works for is looking to hire recent college graduates...and they just want to recruit college athletes (with some exceptions).

This is consistent with everything else I know, anecdotally and statistically. Anecdotally I can say most bright jocks enter professions such as investment banking, consulting, or other high stress/high payoff positions. Statistically college athletes make more money in their careers on average than non-athletes, probably because a college jock is less likely to go into academia, for example, than tthe corporate world. (See Princeton Roundtable and NYRB)

Despite my diminishing interest in sports, as a former jock I can say two things:

1) Non-athletes never seem to appreciate the skills a devoted athlete builds during his/her sports career. These skills include teamwork, communication, unwavering commitment, sacrifice, failure, and so forth. It is possible to build these skills in non-athletic situations, but it's not as central as it is in team sports.

2) Non-athletes who complain about preferential admissions to colleges for recruited athletes never seem to acknowledge the projected earnings of athletes in their lifetime, and athletes' tendency to give more to their alma mater. Athletes are meaningful donors to their schools. I'm not saying this should trump other troubling indicators of academically underqualified athletes on campus.

The phrase "dumb jock" may be true. But it is also true that being smart or dumb doesn't necessarily project success from an earnings perspective. Other traits such as work ethic are important, and sometimes competitive sports indoctrinates these capacities better than simple mental exercise or effort.

Talking About the Weather - A Good Life Hack

When I was in London I talked to entrepreneur Josh Hanna about good places to live. We agreed weather is a big factor. "People always brush aside small talk about weather as just that...small talk. The thing is, there's a reason people talk about weather so much. It truly affects the quality of each day," Josh said.

A few days ago I read The Big Moo, edited by Seth Godin, and I found it an inspiring collection of stories, tips, and beliefs around making your organization remarkable (summary here). One of the anonymous chapters discussed weather. It said talking about the weather is effortless and can at best act as a little bridge to further conversation, and other times just be an acknowledgment of a shared experience. It's the seed of empathy. The author writes:

"Talking about the weather is egalitarian in its delivery, fundamentally inoffensive, completely accessible, no one is ignorant about the weather, even shy people are willing to share their feelings about the weather, and it's hard not to smile when someone says, 'Hot enough for you?' "

I think about success consisting of overarching philosophies and tactical life hacks. This definitely counts as a life hack for social interactions. I'm sold.

Movie Reviews: Office Space, Wordplay, This Boy's Life, and More

I never watch TV, but sometimes DVDs from Netflix. Here are six movies I've seen recently.

1. Office Space -- If you work in a cubicle at work you must watch this movie. I don't, and still found it pretty funny. It doesn't reach the heights of Old School or Wedding Crashers, but still a funny look at the wonderful world of office humor and boring-corporation life.

2. Wordplay -- I actually saw this in a theater with my Mom. It's about crossword puzzles. Ben, the one time you choose to go to a theater you watch a documentary about crossword puzzles? Yes. I never denied that I was a geek. It's a good, uplifting flick about people obsessed with crosswords and prominently features the NYT crosswords editor. At the Opera Plaza theater in San Francisco.

3. This Boy's Life -- The novel by Tobias Wolff is an excellent coming of age story. The movie plays up different parts, but is a great film, especially for any guys who had a rough upbringing.

4. San Francisco -- This was one of the most successful pictures of the 1930s. In short: if you call yourself a San Franciscan, you've gotta see this film. I love the beginning -- a drunken fool is being escorted out of a party and somebody asks him, "Where you from buster?" and he responds, "Los Angeles." "That's what I thought." Ha - the rivalry that doesn't exist outside of Giants-Dodgers finds its roots in old films.

5. 24 Hours on Craigslist -- This was way raunchier than I thought it was going to be! It's a fascinating cross section of Craigslist users during a 24 hour period. It's set in San Francisco, and it just so happens every other person is a) gay, b) transsexual, or c) a practitioner of BDSM. Perhaps the most memorable scene is an immigrant from China, a teenager, who's found Craigslist a great way to sell her erotic paintings. For example, she pained a Sistine Chapel replica added in an extra character who's licking a penis. Hmm....Another must-see for Bay Area folk, and any fan of Craigslist.

6. Empire of the Sun -- This Steven Spielberg directed film is about the Japanese invasion of Shanghai in WWII (the same time they bombed Pearl Harbor). It's a compelling story, well acted, and taught me a lot about Japan/China during that period of time.

You Know You Live in San Francisco When...

Yelp contributors say, "You Know You live in San Francisco When":

When you go on vacation to Mexico, and still carry your sweater.  Everywhere. Cause, you know.  It could get cold."

I knew I had officially landed in SF when driving through the city after driving 2,000 miles from Wisconsin, one of the *very* first people I saw was a very beautiful woman.  I mean a man.  I mean a woman... crossing the street.

I knew I was in SF the first weekend I moved here...it was Bay to Breakers.  I was at the park, I had my blanket, we were bbq'ing.  I had laid down to catch some sun, and felt someone literally tripping over my body.  I looked up to see a pair of skinny legs and striped tube socks.  My eyes followed the length of these legs to find a set of shriveled franks and beans staring back at me.  A man (definitely pushing 75) looked down at me to apologize.  His rainbow head band matched his rainbow tube socks.  Naked, running in the park, and color coordinated.  Welcome to San Francisco.  From that moment on, I knew I'd never leave.

Your neighbors in your complex are a senior citizen, a tranny, a twink, a D.J. frat boy, a hippie couple, and Guatemalan family living above, below and next to you.

It's been weeks and weeks since you met a Republican.

Jeans, t-shirt, and Converse are considered "business casual"

The number of hybrids out number the amount of SUV's

When you know what the next great revolution is in human consciousness is and it's something like push technology or info security or social networking.

You're walking down Market and pass a man dressed as Flash Gordon, a transvestite with a boa around her neck, and a guy clucking like a chicken...and you don't even look twice.

You comment to yourself on how much everyone has gotten into the spirit of Halloween this year, then realize that it is July.

When you start a new company that sells useless software services to people who don't want it and when people ask you what you want to achieve in life you say, simply, world domination.

(Hat tip: my friend Tyler Willis)

On Auren Hoffman's post on San Francisco vs. New York, one commenter says:

In New York, "Hi, I'm Larry." will get you into most conversations pretty well, but here it seems you need to say, "Hi, I'm Larry and I'm Gay Vegan Tibetan Unitaririan Member of the Green Party who has been to Burning Man every year since 1651."

I can't tell you how many times I've tried to get into conversations at bars, over games of pool, only to be shut out because I'm not a bike messenger, or I've never been to India, or I like a good burger. Sorry, folks, I'm just Joe. That seems to be good enough for most people, just not you San Franciscans.

My 9/11 Story

At around 4 PM on September 11, 2001 I was working at my computer with the radio on listening to news updates.

My brother came into my room and asked if I wanted to see a card trick. In those days he was an amateur magician.

I said sure. He fanned out the deck. "Pick a card, any card." I picked a Four of Diamonds. Then he said, "Label it as yours...Write your name on it, or date it, something to identify it." He handed me a pen. First I wrote the name "Comcate" on the card (I had just incorporated my software company). For the date, I went to my computer, flipped open the calendar, and saw it was September 11th.  For a second I thought, "This is weird, I just looked up a date that's probably going down in history." I wrote 9/11/01 on the card under Comcate.
Cardonceling

Then my brother shuffled the deck and, surprising me, threw it up in the air so the whole deck hit the ceiling. The cards hit the ceiling of my bedroom and then fell and hit the ground. Except one card. The one I signed. That was the trick -- my card stuck to the ceiling.

Five years later, the card -- signed "9/11/01" is still stuck to the ceiling of my room, right above my bed. Each morning I wake up, open my eyes, and see that card.

Frugality Creep and Cutting the Right Corners

I had dinner with Scott Faber tonight at Godzila Sushi in San Francisco. Scott's a great guy, and no, I don't say that just because he's 6' 6". He's CEO of Ether, part of Ingenio. Ether allows people to provide paid services over the phone (via the web) such as advice hotlines.  I met Scott last week at Auren Hoffman's labor day bash where we played celebrity charades.

Our nearly two hour conversation spanned a range of topics -- just the way I like it -- including but limited to: Writing, feminism and women in the workplace / gender roles, happiness, philanthropy, business and start-up life, steroids in sports, product development, evolutionary psychology, how to use chopsticks (Scott taught me -- my first time ever), poverty in America vs. overseas.

Somewhere along the way, Scott relayed a story about cutting little corners. He used the McDonald's example. He posited that one day the McDonald's CFO (it's usually the CFO) said, "You know, if we make the size of our burger patty just a tiny bit smaller, the customer won't notice, and we'll save $10 M a year."

When American Airlines removed a single olive from each salad served on a plane, they saved $40,00 a year.

What's the problem? The problem is when you cut 10 corners in a row. Sure, a single olive gone or a slightly smaller patty doesn't make a big difference. But take out an olive, a tomato, and the dressing, and suddenly the salad falls apart...and you end up with American Airlines and McDonald's, and not Southwest Airlines and In n' Out Burger.

So perhaps the issue is, be frugal and cut costs, but just like software companies must avoid scope creep, any business must avoid "frugality creep".

But the bigger question may be: What are the best corners to cut? In the Google cafeteria, the food is awesome, and the chairs and tables are pieces of shit. That's a great example of cutting the right corners.

Friend of Ben: Bernadette Balla

Last week I got an email from a blog reader who said she was 24 years old and had recently moved to San Francisco from Malaysia to pursue an MBA. In her email she said Malaysia is not friendly to ambitious women, nor is it friendly to entrepreneurial thinking. Moreover, there was an expectation that she should either become a prostitute or "find a man and become a wife." She started reading this blog from Malaysia and, hearing about my own adventures as a young entrepreneur, found inspiration in the possibilities that can await people who go off the beaten track. She wrote about me in her business school application, was accepted to Golden Gate University, and as of two days ago, is now taking night classes at GGU and interning at a technology company by day.

I asked Bernadette if she wanted to have lunch at my favorite crepe place down the street. We talked about the challenges of adjusting to a Western culture that's more individualistic, confrontational, and brash than the East. We talked about what it's like to live in a place where you don't have roots -- forming deep relationships is tough. We talked about the lack of a "guidebook" for aspiring young entrepreneurs.

I'm extremely impressed with what Bernadette has already done. She escaped an oppressive culture, defied expectations of what a young woman can or should be, found a place to live and place to study in a foreign country (Silicon Valley no less), developed fluency in English (along with Malaysian, Indonesian, and Cantonese), and most important, is being proactive in reaching out to people who can help.

I'm certain there are many Bernadettes scattered across the globe...But they do not have the good fortune of growing up in the most entrepreneurial region in the world (like me), or perhaps the resourcefulness to leave family and friends (like Bernadette). How can we help those equally deserving people?

When I got home I introduced Bernadette to some people I thought she would like knowing, sent her some book recommendations, and promised to help in any way I can. I expect we'll hear a lot more from her in the coming years...

Bernadette -- Go for it!

Parents as Pals

Surveys show my generation reports stronger relationships with their parents than past generations. That is, my friends and I aren't rebelling against our parents at all. Instead, we see them as friends. Our parents, however, saw their parents as anything but pals -- it was a more conventional parent-child relationship.

This shift in attitudes seems to be peculating to the generation after me, too. When I talk to my 30-something year-old friends who have 5-6 year-old kids, they tell me they'd love to be friends with their children.

A University of Michigan survey showed that the average child now spends 31 hours a week with his mother, up from 25 hours a week in 1980. A '97 Gallup survey said 96% of teenagers said they got along with their parents and roughly 75% of teens said they shared their parents' general values. In 1974, on the other hand, a majority of teens told pollsters they could not "comfortably appraoch their parents with personal matters of concern." (Source: On Paradise Drive by David Brooks)

Parents as pals certainly raises some questions. How does the transmission of morals work in a more peer relationship? How does the institution of family change? We already see the habits of family change (less than half of American families eat together each night), and perhaps adjustments in the relationship amongst members is driving some of that.

Quote of the Day - Why Some Ideas Become Magic Spells

"The tritest common places, launched into the world at the right moment, become magic spells." - Mikhail Gorbachev, foreseeing the fall of the Soviet Union, in Lenin's Tomb

If the three words for real estate are location, location, location, three words for why some ideas spread better than others could be: timing, timing, and timing.

Do You Believe Tomorrow Has the Potential to Be Better Than Today?

The new book Pessimism: Philosophy, Spirit, and Ethic has elevated the topic of pessimism to op/ed pages here in a country founded on optimism. The LA Times, New York Times, and Paul Saffo all comment on the trend.

Pick something you're knowledgeable about and you can probably find a reason to whine, or feel discouraged, or blame others or yourself. It's easier to seem intelligent during cocktail hour if you're pessimistic ("ah, an enlightened man he is") instead of optimistic ("a wild-eyed young one not yet tamed by the grim realities he will soon face"). If you want to live an entrepreneurial life -- in business, teaching, medicine, law, whatever -- resist the urge to cede ground to the pessimists.

Of course, there's a balance here. Losing one's idealism is a fundamental part of growing up. The world has some serious problems. But if you can't get yourself to believe that tomorrow has the potential to be even better than today, life will be very sad indeed.

Excerpt from the NYT:

Pessimism, however, is the most un-American of philosophies. This nation was built on the values of reason and progress, not to mention the ''pursuit of happiness.'' Pessimism as philosophy is skeptical of the idea of progress. Pursuing happiness is a fool's errand. Pessimism is not, as is commonly thought, about being depressed or misanthropic, and it does not hold that humanity is headed for disaster. It simply doubts the most basic liberal principle: that applying human reasoning to the world's problems will have a positive effect.

The biggest difference between optimists and pessimists, Mr. Dienstag argues, is in how they view time. Optimists see the passing of time as a canvas on which to paint a better world. Pessimists see it as a burden. Time ticks off the physical decline of one's body toward the inevitability of death, and it separates people from their loved ones. ''All the tragedies which we can imagine,'' said Simone Weil, the French philosopher who starved herself to death at age 34, ''return in the end to the one and only tragedy: the passage of time.''

Optimists see history as the story of civilization's ascent. Pessimists believe, Mr. Dienstag notes, in the idea that any apparent progress has hidden costs, so that even when the world seems to be improving, ''in fact it is getting worse (or, on the whole, no better).'' Polio is cured, but AIDS arrives. Airplanes make travel easy, but they can drop bombs or be crashed into office towers. There is no point in seeking happiness. When joy ''actually makes its appearance, it as a rule comes uninvited and unannounced,'' insisted Schopenhauer, the dour German who was pessimism's leading figure.

Ken Robinson on Reforming Education to Nurture Creativity

Ken Robinson speaking at TED is a must-watch video. He hits on so many good points about the need to reform our education system to nurture creative geniuses and the importance of interdisciplinary thinking. I think a lot about how our education system can better encourage entrepreneurial thinking. Unfortunately, I believe we're heading too far in a testing mania that, as it's apparently done in some Asia countries for many years, produces too many cogs and too few life entrepreneurs.

Thanks to my friend Dan Grossman for pointing out this winner.

Original Insults Clearly the Work of a Demented Genius

Lee Siegel, who wrote the article on Oprah I linked to and the piece on narcissism I blogged about, was recently suspended from The New Republic because he posted comments on his own blog under a pseudonym. In these comments he attacked his own critics with insults that are hilarious, original and clearly the work of a demented genius. It reminded me of my finest hour, when I called the faculty advisor to high school paper (which I was editing) a liar and a tool. Insults are below. But first, Ross Douthout's sensible post about how even a dick like Siegel could be fun to read:

I guess that makes me the only person who will [miss Siegel]. Not because Siegel-the-blogger wasn't everything that the bipartisan consensus thinks he was - hysterical, shrill, pretentious to the point of absurdity, fixated on his enemies list (Hitchens, Ezra, the "blogofascists," Malcolm Gladwell, David Brooks, James Kincaid), at once ill-informed and condescending . . . pick your disparaging adjective, and there was probably a Siegel post that fit it. But he's also a smart guy and (sometimes) a gifted critic, and there was something utterly transfixing about watching his mind at work, unmediated by the sanity-adding filter that I presume his editors apply. Sure, it was often a train wreck, but that's one of the thing that makes the internet worthwhile - not just the surfeit of lucid commentary (from right and left, libertarians and paleos), but the kind of excess that you almost never get in mainstream print journalism. It's the Harry Knowles phenomenon - sure, he's terrible, but you're glad he's there. That was how I felt about Siegel's excesses . . . and when he wasn't giving in to the crazier angels of his nature, he could write as lucidly as the next blogger/critic.

What did "Siegel" say in the comments section of his blog?

How angry people get when a powerful critic says he doesn't like their favorite show! Like little babies. Such fragile egos. Siegel accuses Stewart of a "pandering puerility" and he gets an onslaught of puerile responses from the insecure herd of independent minds. I'm well within Stewart's target group, and I think he's about as funny as a wet towel in a locker room. Siegel is brave, brilliant, and wittier than Stewart will ever be. Take that, you bunch of immature, abusive sheep. - Lee Siegel

Groupthink from a mob of bullies cowering behind their user-name aliases. Groupthink! Groupthink! Naaa naaa naaa-naaa naaa! - Lee Siegel

Such anger. Such apparent unhappiness. Such inability to withstand a difference in taste without resorting to personal insult. You would think Siegel insulted the Prophet Muhammad in a Muslim magazine with Muslim readers. Toxic thin-skinnedness rising from a fragile sense of self must be a universal condition. I despair. - Lee Siegel

You have quite an obsession with Siegel! Sounds to me like you’re an envious young writer. I mean, first you have a wife and two kids, and now you’re a poor young lawyer with time to write extended tirades against Siegel. Men with two children don’t take time out to defend obscure academics from charges of pedophilia, their defense replete with (pretentious) references to ancient Greek categories of desire! If I had to guess, you’re this person Mark Greif himself. Or someone in his circle. Every young write [sic] in NYC has it in for poor Siegel it seems. They all write like middle-aged hacks. He has the fire and guts of a young man (I assume he’s middle-aged himself, or somewhere near there.) Who am I? Someone who knows who you are. - Lee Siegel

You're a fraud, and a liar. And a wincingly pretentious writer. You couldn't tie Siegel's shoelaces. - Lee Siegel

I'm a huge fan of Siegel, been reading him since he started writing for TNR almost ten years ago. (Full disclosure: I'm an editor at a magazine in NYC and he's written for me too.) I watch the goings-on and have to scratch my head. The people who hate him the most are all in their twenties and early thirties. There's this awful suck-up named Ezra Klein--his "writing" is sweaty with panting obsequious ambition--who keeps distorting everything Siegel writes--the only way this no-talent can get him. And I ask myself: why is it the young guys who go after Siegel? Must be because he writes the way young guys should be writing: angry, independent, not afraid of offending powerful people. They on the other hand write like aging careerists: timid, ingratiating, careful not to offend people who are powerful. They hate him because they want to write like him but can't. Maybe if they'd let themselves go and write truthfully, they'd get Leon Wieseltier to notice them too. - Lee Siegel

The Importance of Capturing Fringe-Thoughts

Capturing fringe-thoughts on a daily basis has revolutionized the way I develop my theories about the world.

Random ideas, quotes, people I need to talk to, a funny conversation overheard at the table next to me at my favorite cafe down the street, a book recommendation from a review in the paper, a gift idea for Christmas, a potential blog post, a short-term task, a long-term project.

Each day dozens of fringe-thoughts enter our brain. They may or may not be relevant to our main work. They materialize in various stages of development.

I used to see fringe-thoughts as a distraction. Now I know they're essential to shaping my outlook on the world, and I try to capture, record, review, refine, and publish (via this blog) as many of them as I can. In addition to making you a better conversationalist, organizing your fringe-thoughts is on the way to a more intellectually coherent worldview.

The best way to capture fringe-thoughts is with your PDA. I use the "memo" feature of my BlackBerry. In meetings and in meals I use an old-fashioned notebook, since BlackBerry use is super rude. On my bed side table I keep a big notepad. On the web I use del.icio.us. On my computer I keep "stickies" -- this is the master list.

The inspiration for this post came from Aaron Swartz's wonderful excerpt from The Sociological Imagination by C. Wright Mills, with "blog" in place of "file":

    As a social scientist, you have to ... capture what you experience and sort it out; only in this way can you hope to use it to guide and